A story of Mine & Ian

Well its been a long long time. Yes i admit it. I was so busy, so i didnt have much time to post. I did a lot of things, such as preparing my stuffs for out of town, Im going to Jakarta soon with my parents to find a place for me to stay and im studying, oh how i love studying. Im studying for SBMPTN test. Yes. A test for state university. In order to,comply my mom's wish. Yey!

Heres the story lately. i just sign in at University of Brawijaya Malang. but i also accepted at Bina Nusantara University Jakarta. i take the Internasional Relation. i just wishing for the best. well. God only Knows. I probably think that it is okay if I got accepted at University of Brawijaya as long as I took International Relations major for my bachelor.

Oh! And yes....

I just got this Vampire Diaries fever. I was like "wow, Damon is so hot" then i became a fan of Ian Somerhalder and i am thinking to join ISF (Ian Somerhalder Foundation), to look forward at its upcoming scholarship in environment in the future. 

Fingers cross for the best!xx

WISHING YOU LOVE MY OUTFIT OF THE DAY

                                 

Congratulations BINUS

nice to see you guys again. gosh! how i miss to see my blog.....

i just got 50% scholarship of Binus University. Thank God! (freaking out) dad, mom, brothers are supporting me for it. and i also exited to start writing my future. i am so so so happy. but i doesnt mean that i will stop to keep writing on my blog, i will keep writing and always do writing <3

I want to say "Congratulations BINUS UNIV, you guys just got an incredible STUDENT!"

a little story about the college test, so I went to Arya Duta Hotel only by my self. Long story, I never planned to sign at Binus University but my friend says that it doesnt matter to give a try. And I called my dad to give me some money so I can pay the form. After class, I straight go the representative of Binus University to took the form. I filled the form and the next day I gave it back to the representative. The test had 2 part, the first was the IQ test and the second was a kind like toefl test but with the standard of Binus University itself. I took International Relegions major but if you guys took dkv or architecture major or any kind of that you guys should had a drawing test (good luck for it!). 

The test satart at 9 am and end at 2 pm. So, I went to the church at night, its so unusual but totally fine. So I went alone and back home alone. 

Before I did my test, I texted the whole family, like really every family members got my text (dad mom brothers). At the first time, I thought they wont text me back because they were at the church at that time. But after a minutes later, my dad text me back, my brothers then my mom. Look how cute they are...

ohhhh... i have stuffs to do. catch you guys later..

see yaaa...

sincerely,

pingkan with G ;) 

XX

Looking for the Future

Its been a long time since last time I wrote in my blog and when I see the archive I am very surprise and said “its been 3 months?” I realized that I am really extremely busy nowadays. Im in senior year, its will be so much hard to face this whole year, but I think that sometime I have to spend time to relaxing myself. Cause I don’t want to stressed out till get frustrated. I have to take to refresh my mind, go hang out, chilling, and do the fun things that can make me feel more easy to face this senior year.

For my future plan (hahaha) I will go to college, take the international relation in diplomatic. And I will leave my home to catch my ambition or much people called dream. First thing first, I want to be a pilot since I was kid, and it never change till senior high school, but at the second grade on senior high school I use glasses, and it hurt me cause pilot should not use glasses. So I don’t have any plan to my college, I want take an international job. Second, I don’t want to take a job at government or civil servant, I interest with politic but when I see my dad being a civil servant its kinda we have to pretend for something when we join to politic. Third, my dad really want his child to be like him then he said to me that “how bout diplomat?” ive been thinking of it for a half years and I think its an good idea, I love it.

Im gonna have my college test at second day of December, pray for me. I wish I can pass this test well, I really want it and I will be work hard, study hard and also pray hard for it, I will do my best to catch it.

The Truth Hurts

Someone just told me he love me today. Its bad I cant say I love him too. He is kind, very kind. Everytime I need someone, he is also the one I can count on. 

BUT

You can help with who you falling in love with, right?
Today, we went to watch movie and as I promise him, I will answer him directly. I didnt expect that he would ask me to watch movie. So, we were on the theater and when I start talking, he was like "this movie is really cool, the plot, the story". 
Then, im braving my self to directly talk to him. I said "Youre really kind to me, I maybe would love you so much but not this time. Im sorry, I cant."
He was surprised, I thought he think that when I say I will answer him directly, it means I will say "Yes, I love you too."

He added "We can make a new start. Maybe you cant love me for awhile but as the time goes by, you can love me like the way I do", then I replied "I aint that type of girl, I cant love someone, like truly love him, if we start relationship, i have to truly love him at the beginning."
5 minutes later, he said that he have an appointment with someone so he should go. I know he was upset and disappointed. 

I am really sorry for broke his heart and never meant it but it is better to say the truth even it hurts you so bad. 

He texted me, "I know you in love with someone else and I know him."

But after I told him the truth, we still be friends even there are something missing. 

His Promise

"Pingkun, maaf ya hari ini. Ada project mendadak. Sorry again, we arrange another time ya. Btw, dapet nomor pingkun dari Noval".

When is that another time? I already posted our photos and I will tell the story behind it. How it happened. I will. But, one precious thing I learn from him. I can keep his words, his promise. Something that maybe is so rare and hard to find. 

Then the story, begin ....

After 7 december, we starting texting each other like everyday. We share every little things we did and at the end of the day, we make a call to tell every story and every feeling.

"We should meet, soon. asap. Lets arrange the right time, Pingkun" 

We decided to meet at 13 december, 5 pm, Mantos. 

I went to Mantos with a friend of mine (re: Beybs). I always ask someone to accompany me when im going to have my first date. If Yudi surprise and look "bete" it means he doesnt accept the little thing I did. 

But,

He is very welcome when he saw Beybs at the first time. He said hallo and introduced him self. Then, he said "The movie will start about a hour from now. Lets take a dinner and Beybs should join us".

We took our dinner and he did something that I wouldnt never forget. We watch a movie "Tangled" and we went to Photobox. He said that was his first time photobox-ing (i dont know) but I really had fun that day.

One thing I learn from him, he always keep his words. Like he said, people will trust you when you can keep your words. 

So, thank you for giving me a life lesson. 

Failed Blind Date

I meet someone. I dont like him at the first time I saw him. I embarrassed my self in front of him at the very first time we met. I can clearly remember that day, 1 December 2013. I was on my freshman year at high school. They said that;

"High school lover is the love you wouldnt forget for the rest of your life, the person may not last but the memories are"

 I dont know about it yet, nor it is right or not. But, I never thought that my high school lover will come this fast. Man, I just graduate and I've been in high school not a half year yet. You never know what will come tomorrow dont you?
He set up a blind date, so oldie, he sent a little message for me thru my dancer-mate "Angie". 

"Your friend is cute. Tell her, 7 December, 3pm. Mantos. Meet me there!"

Yes, he is a dancer. 5 years older than me.  College boy. Learn about Politics. Mama's boy. Funny. Eye-catching. 
Did I come? Yes, I did. After my violin private class, I went to Mantos. On time. I saw him with his friends running thru main corridor at the mall. Laughing. I thought they were having fun. Nope. They tried to run from the mall security. They were making a dance video at the mall without the mall staff knowing.

Then,
Someone running to me. Him? No. My senior, let us call kak Noval. He said;

"He really sorry, Ping. He cant come today. There's urgent stuff to do, so he suddenly go now. I gave him your number, if its alright." 

Its alright.  

He was playing with me. I thought. 
Then, maybe I should never trust that kind of blind date anymore. At least, I know how it feels. 

New Begging yet to Come

I was a little girl that finally turns out to a high school girl. Nothing much change in me. Still small, pretty, cute like an elementary kiddo, short and still aint like to talk with strangers. 

Some part of me are very happy because my classmate mostly my friends at elementary school and junior high school. We were like "please dont introduce yourself" but its just for formality. Just a little from my friends that came by different city  (outside Manado). I liked to make friends. I have a lot of friends but none of them I called "close-friend". Im a little bit difficult to get closer with people. The problem is not on them but its on me. Im a kind a person that hard to handle and hard to get. I can be a quite person but a minute later I can be so annoying. Trust me, its ease to hate me rather than love me. I act weird in front of people. Somehow, I can laugh with them but at the same time I can give them a straight face. Sometimes I think Im bipolar, but thank You my Lord Jesus, I am not. 

Im difficult to get closer with a boy. It is because if I like you, I wouldnt be the same. I mean, maybe you see me laughing but with the one I love, I can be so stiff and barely breath if you around. I have no lover till' now. Its not because there's none I interest to nor no one liked me. It is because its hard for me to fall in love but once I fall in love with you. I will love you for a long time. Im a kind of person who taking seriously about relationship. Everytime I in a relationship, I want to make it last. Its exhausted to get to know each other well over and over again. So, if I love you beware. Maybe you are in danger now.